Miller Lite Radio Ads

Miller Lite has a radio ad series going on right now where they apply the alternative to everyday sayings and figures of speech with some humorous results. Take a read and be prepaired to laugh.


Fresh vs. stale

You don't go outside for a breath of stale air.
Catching a stale water fish? Bet it has 3 eyes and a hoof.
Brewing a stale pot of coffee? That's one grande stinks-a-latte.
Ah, the smell of stale cut grass. FYI - I'm knee high in manure.
Giving out snacks and re-stale-ments at your party? That's a real party pooper, padre.
A stale baked cookie? That goes great with a warm glass of shut your trap, chap.
Stale squeezed OJ? Ex-squeeze me, but no-J.
If your buddy says he's keeping things stale, that means he needs to change his underpants.
Need to restale your webpage? Go to w-w-w dot getaclue dot nerd.
Don't get stale with me, that's just gross.


Love vs. Like

Like does not make good entertainment.
Anyone wanna take a sail on the Like Boat? No thanks Captain Boring.
If Joanie just liked Chachi: Sunday, Monday, Unhappy Days.
If I just liked Lucy, then Ricky would probably never come home. And if he did, he'd be the one with some splainin' to do.
If Hannibal only liked it when a plan came together, he would only be a member of the "B" Team.
Who likes ya baby? Not Kojak, not anybody.
Remember the movie "Sea of Like?" Sounds like something I wouldn't like to see.
What about the baseball flick "For the Like of the Game?" Bet that one would strike out. Looking.
"Like Actually?" Like, no thanks.

Like does not conquer all.
Like thy neighbor? Time to move.
When was the last time you fell in like? Probably wasn't very comfortable.
How do I like thee? Let me count the ways. Zero.
I like New York. Who doesn't?
If Philadelphia was the city of brotherly like, I'd be on the first train to Pittsburgh.
Do you remember the summer of like? It was hot...and gross.
Like it or leave it? Leave it.
Like it or hate it? Hate it.


More vs. Less

Nobody wants less bang for their buck.
Less power to ya? Good, more for me.
The less the merrier? Maybe if you live in Losertown.
If you want graham cracker, chocolate and marshmallow, you don't want S'mless, you want S'more, Park Ranger McLameovich.
Got a hot girl you're less than friends with? That means she's a stranger. Stop staring, creep-o.
If your local news anchor says "less after this": News flash, he's not wearing any pants.
What's less fun than a barrel of monkeys? Having to clean that barrel.
Say no less. I mean it, stop saying less.


New vs. Old

You don't ring in the old year.
Out with the old, in with the old? That's a vicious cycle of blech.
Buying something as good as old? Have fun antiquing, Old Man River.
Congratulations, you've won an old car! The price is wrong, buck-o.
If scientists were breaking old ground, we'd all have the bubonic plague.
Visiting the state of Old Mexico? It's called Mexico, and it's a country, Senor Smarty-pants.
Going to Old York City? Visit my buddy Stu, Stu Pidface.
There's an old sheriff in town. Crime just went up a 1 gazillion, kajillion percent.
Staying up to watch the 10 o'clock olds. This just in: go to bed.
What else is old? Stupid questions.